I think you are expecting this blog to be something about “3 idiots”, but naah, its not about the movie as I haven't watched the movie yet. Will be watching that and probably blog about it too.
Everyone has expectations, be it human or animals. Some animals may expect their prey to be an easy catch with full of meat while humans have no boundaries for setting expectations, be it personal or professional.
Parents &kids, husbands&wives, brothers & sisters, name the relation, either one or more parties constituting that relation set some expectations. I see the word EXPECT as Ex-Pact(my imaginations are weird :) ), that is something not included in the deal/promise. What makes us expect and how do we define what expectations level to be set in each situation? In every individual, lies the calculator which implements a complex algorithm which takes inputs like past experiences, possibilities of an event, benefits in case of the event occurs etc etc. This algorithm also gives output when there is no input, so let us not go into its details.
In personal life, we expect something from friends and family knowingly or unknowingly, often leading to either strengthening or weakening of bonds. A husband may expect his wife to prepare good food, keep the house clean, take care of family and list is countless. A wife may in turn expect her hubbi to listen and do exactly what she tells him, take decision based on her interests n so on. Expectations creep in because of comparisons also. A wife may expect her husband to take her shopping every weekend just the way her neighbour does. Even if unsaid, either parties expect things to be done based on their wishes. If their wishes are met, it’s a happy happy ending, else hot & cold wars follow.
In professional life one has infinite expectations, may be meeting deadlines, getting promotions, and what not. If some work is done well, others expect the same thing or even better from you the next time. When this expectation is met, higher benchmarks are set. This process never ends. But humans do have limits. Some individuals who are aware of this expectations game sometimes always tend to underperform so as not to get into this game and destroying themselves at the end. Some are smart players who know how to manage expectations of others at every stage of the game. This requires experience and luck.
Expectations also lead to getting best out of people. When a person is made to believe that there is a reward if a task is done well, he/she will pour in extra efforts to execute the task. If the reward is good, one can expect the same efforts again only if there is a better or similar reward next time.
At professional and personal level, I would suggest it is best to be yourself and give every relation or task your best without hoping or expecting anything in return. Also make sure others don’t have false expectations from you. This is a tough thing to do, but results will always be fruitful.
Happy expectation setting!!!!!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
loBe poem
Heart thumps faster in triumph and loss;Joy and despair,
Divine relaxation it gets only when I hide my face in your hair,
Desire to take you gently in my arms and take utmost care,
Longing to make you mine, to make an eternal pair... \m/
Divine relaxation it gets only when I hide my face in your hair,
Desire to take you gently in my arms and take utmost care,
Longing to make you mine, to make an eternal pair... \m/
Sunday, January 17, 2010
customs, a shield for stupid and hypocrites
I have been granted the right to speech and express, by my consititution for the last 24 years(at the time of writing this), so I take this opportunity to convey a few thoughts running in some corner of my brain.Along with the right to speech, we enjoy a wide variety of freedom which many other countries do not enjoy, be it walking and honking on the roads when the traffic is in full flow or pee/spit anywhere and we do it without giving it a second thought. But there are some things like being frank,decision to settle with someone, showing affection, making decision not so usual get us thinking . Some actions (now customs) are done , just because it is being done that way over ages, never knowing why and how it all started.
The concept of fasting ; people visualise it as a tool to lure gods to get a haslefree, safe and wealthy life.If we think, fasting is a way to give our digestive system a rest.The second logical aspect would be to have control over self. We believe that god created this world and gave us everything to survive and flourish.Now, if we are fasting in his name, we are indirectly rejecting the bounties he has bestowed upon us, and that way we should be recipients of his wrath rather then blessings. But who must have come with this brilliant concept of fasting . I don't have any proven facts to answer this, but my fictious creative mind can think of one story at this moment, considering the blind followers that we are.Probably some notorious king ,who did not have money to feed his people requested his kingdom to skip food for a few days in name of god and may be after a few days he found some KHAZANA .And then people linked fasting to luring gods and thus get what they want.I believe they also had creative minds like mine. :) It wasnt long that the neighbouring kingdoms also resorted to same kind of behaviour as it doesn't take time for such things to spread , and there was the birth of FASTING. Those people who just fast because they are being told too(there are millions of those), will try a different menu that day and will eat more then usual, thus beating the whole purpose of fasting. Such stupid approach has ruined our power of logical thinking.
There are so many customs, if listed down in a book would have broken the Guinness book of world record for max number of words in it. Another feature India is linked to, be arranged marriages. The reason behind why arranged marriages are so important in India is because that is the safest way to ensure that your kids are getting a life partner of the same caste, creed, religion , etc etc .In earlier days( I am talking of centuries and centuries ago) ,when marriages were forced on teenagers, arranged marriages can be justified, as at that age one doesn't has any knowledge of how life can get with someone not having a similar lifestyle and beliefs. Also, in earlier days when people were constricted in their own regions , they probably wouldn't have had any knowledge of the life style and beliefs of neighbouring regions. Now the focus has moved from concern to worry. The main worry is the gossips, taunts and exclusion that will have faced by one's own relatives if at all their kids had to marry someone who belongs to some other caste or religion.Even though we are very well educated, globalised and age bar for marriages has gone up, we still stick to those customs which holds NO grounds anymore. Over the years, Caste as a bar has faded , I hope even other hindrances that get in between love also disappears and it is welcomed by all sects of the society soon.
Clothing and relationships before marriage always gets a frown. Several channels/movies are editted before we actually view them. Fashion TV(India) for one , also had to suffer.A few days back as my friend switched through channels there was a live telecast going on of a holy pooja conducted by almost Nude(thankfully not full) guy. If this can be telecasted live without and editting, why a ban to telecast models displaying the latest innovative creations. After all Who doesn't like to see beautiful creations, be it man made or god made? Why do we boast about a rich and cultural heritage, of which even Kamasutra is a part when we consider display of creativity or affection as a downtrodden act.Such double standards are often found in various situations.Political groups or even general public blabber a lot about culture , history , customs they take pride in and that women should wear clothes showing minimum skin, should be at home ,should not drink or party. When the fact is they are the ones who desperately drool for women who show maximum skin and do all the unethical acts. Yet these hypocrites manage to collect maximum appreciation from the other stupid hypocritic supporters.It is not surprising to see that we always close our eyes to facts which question the validity of our customs.
News is always flocked with incidents about political parties/groups who announce ban on holding hands by couples, or ban on valentines’ day openly in a democratic country. Right to inculcate terror was never a part of constitution. Still, these groups always end up creating and impression that we are still living under a dictatorship regime.
We talk about being religious and doing good work, but if being religious and good work is done by following the religious books and having a clean mind, I don't see anyone as religious. Am sure every religious books says , do not lie, do not hurt and things which help us to live a principled life. Except for a non living and animals ,I don't remember any Human who hasn't lied or done something unethical for his/her own gains. Even if the situation calls for such a thing, one is not excused. Its very common to first commit a mistake knowingly and then ask for forgiveness. still didn't get to analyse why and how it works?
We want to stick to such outdated customs , just because our forefathers followed it .We have become such pioneers in this passing the parcel game that we just dump the burden of outdated customs on the next generation without even knowing that they need to be tweaked so it helps the next genx.We underwent a British rule ,followed by rapid development and still we are true slaves of customs following the expired code of conduct stubbornly.
To end it, the parcel of customs that we have in our hand and that will move to the coming generation should be such that it is tailored well taking the current and future developments into consideration and make sure people have their common sense and logical thinking in place before making any decisions.
The concept of fasting ; people visualise it as a tool to lure gods to get a haslefree, safe and wealthy life.If we think, fasting is a way to give our digestive system a rest.The second logical aspect would be to have control over self. We believe that god created this world and gave us everything to survive and flourish.Now, if we are fasting in his name, we are indirectly rejecting the bounties he has bestowed upon us, and that way we should be recipients of his wrath rather then blessings. But who must have come with this brilliant concept of fasting . I don't have any proven facts to answer this, but my fictious creative mind can think of one story at this moment, considering the blind followers that we are.Probably some notorious king ,who did not have money to feed his people requested his kingdom to skip food for a few days in name of god and may be after a few days he found some KHAZANA .And then people linked fasting to luring gods and thus get what they want.I believe they also had creative minds like mine. :) It wasnt long that the neighbouring kingdoms also resorted to same kind of behaviour as it doesn't take time for such things to spread , and there was the birth of FASTING. Those people who just fast because they are being told too(there are millions of those), will try a different menu that day and will eat more then usual, thus beating the whole purpose of fasting. Such stupid approach has ruined our power of logical thinking.
There are so many customs, if listed down in a book would have broken the Guinness book of world record for max number of words in it. Another feature India is linked to, be arranged marriages. The reason behind why arranged marriages are so important in India is because that is the safest way to ensure that your kids are getting a life partner of the same caste, creed, religion , etc etc .In earlier days( I am talking of centuries and centuries ago) ,when marriages were forced on teenagers, arranged marriages can be justified, as at that age one doesn't has any knowledge of how life can get with someone not having a similar lifestyle and beliefs. Also, in earlier days when people were constricted in their own regions , they probably wouldn't have had any knowledge of the life style and beliefs of neighbouring regions. Now the focus has moved from concern to worry. The main worry is the gossips, taunts and exclusion that will have faced by one's own relatives if at all their kids had to marry someone who belongs to some other caste or religion.Even though we are very well educated, globalised and age bar for marriages has gone up, we still stick to those customs which holds NO grounds anymore. Over the years, Caste as a bar has faded , I hope even other hindrances that get in between love also disappears and it is welcomed by all sects of the society soon.
Clothing and relationships before marriage always gets a frown. Several channels/movies are editted before we actually view them. Fashion TV(India) for one , also had to suffer.A few days back as my friend switched through channels there was a live telecast going on of a holy pooja conducted by almost Nude(thankfully not full) guy. If this can be telecasted live without and editting, why a ban to telecast models displaying the latest innovative creations. After all Who doesn't like to see beautiful creations, be it man made or god made? Why do we boast about a rich and cultural heritage, of which even Kamasutra is a part when we consider display of creativity or affection as a downtrodden act.Such double standards are often found in various situations.Political groups or even general public blabber a lot about culture , history , customs they take pride in and that women should wear clothes showing minimum skin, should be at home ,should not drink or party. When the fact is they are the ones who desperately drool for women who show maximum skin and do all the unethical acts. Yet these hypocrites manage to collect maximum appreciation from the other stupid hypocritic supporters.It is not surprising to see that we always close our eyes to facts which question the validity of our customs.
News is always flocked with incidents about political parties/groups who announce ban on holding hands by couples, or ban on valentines’ day openly in a democratic country. Right to inculcate terror was never a part of constitution. Still, these groups always end up creating and impression that we are still living under a dictatorship regime.
We talk about being religious and doing good work, but if being religious and good work is done by following the religious books and having a clean mind, I don't see anyone as religious. Am sure every religious books says , do not lie, do not hurt and things which help us to live a principled life. Except for a non living and animals ,I don't remember any Human who hasn't lied or done something unethical for his/her own gains. Even if the situation calls for such a thing, one is not excused. Its very common to first commit a mistake knowingly and then ask for forgiveness. still didn't get to analyse why and how it works?
We want to stick to such outdated customs , just because our forefathers followed it .We have become such pioneers in this passing the parcel game that we just dump the burden of outdated customs on the next generation without even knowing that they need to be tweaked so it helps the next genx.We underwent a British rule ,followed by rapid development and still we are true slaves of customs following the expired code of conduct stubbornly.
To end it, the parcel of customs that we have in our hand and that will move to the coming generation should be such that it is tailored well taking the current and future developments into consideration and make sure people have their common sense and logical thinking in place before making any decisions.
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